belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
