kristin has been a bad kristin
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
