My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
