i already hear my dad disowning me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
