At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is my gift to your gina
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
