oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Are we still banned from the library?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
