Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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