Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
