Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
