We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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