At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
