Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
