She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
