No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Quick, to the slutcave!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize