I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
