Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
