Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize