Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
