I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
