Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize