What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
