Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
