Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
