I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
