VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
