i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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