oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Randomize
