If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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