the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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