oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
