I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
