Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i dont even know how to be here
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize