with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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