i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
