Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
