you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
barbara walters just said penis...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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