Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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