Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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