His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
