Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
