so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
