it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
