If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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