She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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