Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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