I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Quick, to the slutcave!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
