She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
