guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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