maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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