You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Girls should come with a carfax report
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
