Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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