real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
