What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
