ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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