Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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