K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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