How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
