found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
