You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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