I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
