There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
