my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize