she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My dick has a subreddit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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