why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize