yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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