wat bout pragnant strippers??
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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