We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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