Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
