Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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